One of the hardest parts of being an educator and a librarian, is seeing children whose emotions have erupted into violence. I’ve seen this taken to extremes in one school where students were bringing in knives, using shoelaces to choke one another, hitting, kicking, and biting—worse though, is when I explain that it was a k-1 school.
While I am no longer in a classroom, I work with children as a substitute librarian. Our city has a high level of poverty and our young patrons have a great many needs. They want to play electronic games like Roblox and card games like Uno. They want to be read books, color pictures, and do crafts. They also frequently are hungry and ask for snacks, which is heartbreaking—I’m hardly the only librarian who has given away her own food, rather than have to say no to a little one.
One of the things that haunts me though, is when one of the little ones has emotions that rage out of control. They will scream, slam their bookbag into the ground, and sometimes hurt their friends. I had a little one that was punching indiscriminately and I knelt with him and started talking to him, telling him it was all right. I barely remember what I said, because I was so caught up in how this little friend’s face was coated with tears and how he wouldn’t look me in the eye. He was able to walk away without further incident but I was haunted by the exchange.
Too often in dysfunctional families, there is intense shame surrounding having emotions. Emotions can be dangerous to the fabric of a broken family, because they can reveal the depth and breadth of the cracks in the facade. As an adult, I had to learn what precisely emotions were, complete with identifying them and slowly, I am learning how to honor and accept them.
The thing I think we forget as adults is the power we have to help children, even ones we only see in passing. By smiling with them when they are happy or helping them navigate when they are out of control, they can learn that even if their home life is a hurricane, there is another world out there, ready to embrace them. Schools and libraries are second chances, and I feel privileged to be a part of these institutions.
